My mind was going wild this weekend.
So I screamed at it in the car on my way to my parents’ house.
It was liberating.
Speaking of my Tasmanian Devil mind, I have been able to face or curb or deal with it through this one book by Tolle, “The Power of Now.” It has taught me to be a witness rather than a complicit and unconscious ego-identifier. It has been tough, because facing it means calling it forth. And man, my mind has been clutching on for dear life. But slowly and surely it is slipping away. It’s grip is becoming fatigued. And it is just a matter of time before it leaves the building. For good. But it will take everything from me to get there. And then, poof. Gone.
Because I am not my mind.
Neither am I its prisoner any longer.
Then thank god for the internet.
So far I have found a lot of comfort from its many cheesy and helpful articles and books on many many things. I feel that it is god’s way of speaking to me sometimes. Other times, it just helps me snap out of whatever funk I am in.
Just now, I discovered this book about Loving Smart and can’t wait to buy it somewhere.
So, as my mind fights for its survival, I am refusing to be a casualty of this war. I will be the one to emerge like the phoenix. I just need to remember that the mind is ever strong now because it knows its days are numbered. that I no longer want it to be there. that i am letting it go.
Also, that fighting it is still dealing with it in its language. I am thinking that compassion is the way to kill it for good.
Embrace the demon so that it melts away.
I miss K immensely but I am not dying from it.
I affirm my strength today.