Honesty and Kindness

I didn’t get at mad at me yesterday for wanting company after having company.
Some days, I understand now, it will be this way.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Some days, reset will be easier.
That’s okay too.

It’s the same as those summers with my cousins — the emptiness or the semi-despair I’d feel when they would leave or when a fun weekend with friends would end — I felt it again yesterday. Then I realized that I had just been with eleven other people on one of the best days of 2009, then I had been with S and then M and then…it was just me.

So going to see Auntie L to play rock band and getting a massage to deal with the separation anxiety didn’t mean fear of being alone, it’s called normal Pluplu reaction to a full weekend filled with people.
It just takes time for me to settle in my own space again.
With the wonderful echoes of my destructive thoughts, that i have so recently learned to ignore because I am paving the way for the more creative thoughts to take its place.

So its all good.
If this is my path, then so be it.

grateful slice: friends – old and new; and a patient self.


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