… and recovery

I know I should not have looked at old pictures, though.
That was a dangerous activity.
And today, the memories have crept into my consciousness like a metastasized brain tumor.

I need to just ride it now.
Surrender it because it is done.
Even chemo is extremely painful.
As the procedure gets rid of good and bad cells.

And I need to be careful next time.
I am authentic, not guarded but I also can’t be arrogant or complacent.
As okay as I feel, I refuse to be the addict who thinks she is fully recovered only to slip when she stops being aware.
I will claim that I am handling this well, but I won’t let it get to my head.
My heart is still vulnerable. That’s the truth.
Recovery is not linear and it takes time.

grateful slice: awareness 2

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