it’s something like not getting on that plane that crashed to bits because a tiny voice told you not to or not eating the scallops that gave everyone a bum stomach or choosing not to enter the elevator right when it was about to get stuck or being told not to do it, not to go there, and me just listening for the first time because it felt right.
yeah, it feels something like that.
like i was saved from a potentially hellish kind of life; a life that would have been dreadful and empty and completely devoid of meaningful discourse. Instead, an existence with nothing but emotional constipation, substance abuse and silent suffering where things are left to coagulate and then gangrene.
I was misguided and perhaps hypnotized, I tell you. To think that that was what I wanted to live with and was willing to endure.
Snapping out of it does not diminish anything at all but boy, am I glad I was saved from fighting for what I thought was it.
Yes, I was saved from the goat. I don’t want the goat. I want the fatted calf. I want it all.
grateful slice: affirming what I was spared from