I am getting used to the hollow feeling in my belly. It’s like a companion now, the ache of not having anything in there. There is a silence in place of the growling. When I drink water, I feel the cold go through the empty cavity that is my tummy, feel the chilly liquid in my bones like contrast dye during an MRI. I still think of food, especially Kookoo’s Nest pizza, but no longer crave it. I am also no longer afraid of losing energy; no longer paranoid that I will get a hunger headache because I haven’t. I woke up this morning thinking the worst is over. My mouth is still dry for some reason, no matter how much water I drink. My spirit though is drenched from the well-spring of being full from something else.
Be strong and courageous. That’s the message today. There’s nothing to be afraid of because I am not alone and it is the year of stability, capability and force; the way to be and what it means to be strong. And in that strength is freedom, favor and fullness. Things I am believing G for. A part of me humbly wishes that my name be changed too. From Jacob to Israel and from Hoshea to Joshua. I am clinging to the vine.
grateful slice: powerful messages